So it seems like the world is heading towards apocalypse,I'm pretty sure the four horsemen mentioned in the bible are here ( war, famine, pestilence and Justin Bieber) and in these gloomy end of days times it's sometimes difficult to feel happy anymore, but why should you in these days where you realize that a completely thick, plastic slag (Jordan) has earned more money then you ever will. My way of keeping happy is to make lists of things that make me happy ( I don't). I've decided once a month to blog a list of that make me happy right now, it could be new tech, new tech, a t.v. show, movie or even a song, maybe even a quote from a friend if it's good. So here it is the things that I like list for March 2011....
Due South (T.V. Show)
So what do you get when you take a Canadian Mountie, team him up with an Italian-American cop and put them on the streets of Chi(cago) town? The answer is Due South, potentially the most epic daytime cop show ever. Benton Fraser (Paul Gross) is a fantastic character, he is smart, polite and charming the complete opposite of his partner Ray Vecchio (David Marciano), the chemistry between the two is just awesome. If you haven't seen it you need to. For me it brings a sense of nostalgia, for others it will be an experience they will look forward to being nostalgic about.
Nintendo 3DS (gadget)
I know right?! I'm making more u turns than John Kerry but I kept an open mind when it came to the 3DS ( which my fiancé bought for my birthday), and in all honesty it is amazing. The games are graphically superior to anything I have ever seen on a portable, they are just so immersive. There is sooo much potential in this latest nintendo offering. Augmented reality, 3D photos, and of course the games make this one hell of a device, stories in the paper suggest that some people aren't entirely happy with it. But it just seems like a bunch idiots complying about nothing, there is a switch to adjust the level of 3D so it seems like a petty complaint. Seriously, would people sue an music player maker for how loud it is? (Well, maybe in America).
Give The Drummer Some By Travis Barker (Album)
Travis Barker takes a break from making blink 182 look good, to work with some of hip hops best artists. The result is a wonderfully crafted album that is filled with killer tracks. The calibre of artists that Travis managed to get on this album is astounding. There are too many tracks to talk about the album in great length but for me the highlights of this album include "Beat Goes On" (a track that features Cypress Hill), "Can a Drummer Get Some" ( featuring Lil Wayne and the Game) and "Let's Go" ( featuring Busta Rhymes, Lupe Fiasco and Twista). This album is definitely worth giving a go, even if your not really into hip hop you will probably find a track you like.
Machete (Movie)
We first got a glimpse of this film, when it came as a trailer for Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez' 'Grindhouse' double feature, and since then I have been counting the days until this potential masterpiece was released. The problem is when you wait along time for something like this you build up your expectations and sometimes you find that it just doesn't live up to it. However that definitely wasn't the issue here. This film was a-mazing, I don't want to ruin it too much but this film had it all, a fantastic cast (including Robert De Niro, Steven Segal and Danny Trejo as the title character.) The plot is simple but in the sense that it doesn't bog you down with too much to think about. Essentially its a tale of revenge, that includes some unbelievably gory scenes. All in all if your looking for a kick ass action movie that is smart, yet uncomplicated then this film is the one for you.
So there you have it this was my list of kick ass things that cheer me up for the month of April, gonna start on next months, as well as doing a proper blog post involving angry sweaty words and insults about dwarfs.
Saturday, 23 April 2011
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Positivity in modern television
It feels like ages since I last wrote one of these, oh it has been ages. Oh well. I know it's not the most sophisticated of tastes, but I'm not particularly sophisticated, but one thing that I have to say is that I love watching t.v. but who doesn't right? I have tons of favorite shows, some old, some new the point is that television is an amazing format. It's been around for decades and has rolled with almost every technological advancement. Unlike certain media formats it has evolved with society, it isn't stuck in a time warp that's for certain even though it's time is coming to an end (we need every show available when we want, not on someone elses schedule.). One show I have been watching with my fiancée lately is a show that manages to make me feel warm inside, no I'm not talking about "Rastamouse" (which seems to me to be the outcome if you put a group of stoners in a room with a set of Sylvainian family toys), the show I'm talking about isn't even on t.v. anymore (which is a big shame, maybe someone at Dave can put aside an hour a week in which they don't put that smug cunt Jeremy Clarkson on) anyways the show is called "The Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody".
"The Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody", centres on the travels of Leon Logothetis. There are three series, in one series he has to travel around the U.K. on £5 a day, he also travels the U.S. ( on $5 a day) and Europe (€5 a day). This may spoil it a little bit but he successfully completes each tour, mostly because of the helpfulness of the strangers he meets on his travels. Sometimes it's good to put on a t.v. show and actually feel happy. We live in a society where most t.v. shows perpetuate old fashioned stereotypes and pump you full of fear that when you come across a gem like this it's hard not to smile. Leon, is such a delightfully charming person that you do think that if anyone else did the show they may not have got so far. Honestly, Leon manages to charm and entertain almost everyone he encounters, on numerous occasions getting free lifts, a bed for the night, free meals and train tickets. If you ever get the chance to watch this show don't pass it up because you will regret not watching it. The people he meets on his travels are so interesting in particular the ones that help him, he encounters everyone from off duty soldiers to refugees. Each have their own story in which Leon takes the time to listen to ( sometimes putting his own troubles into perspective). He didn't do those journey's for the fame (clearly) or for any monetary gain, but to meet new people and for the sense of adventure.
I was lucky in the fact that I managed to get hold of the DVDs from the production company (Shankley Productions) because we (my fiancée and I) had seen a couple of episodes a couple of years back we knew we had to look for it, and after a bit of research managed to email someone at the production company who sent them. The point of this rather short blog post is that television doesn't need to be all doom and gloom (Eastenders, Hollyoaks, Sky news) in fact t.v. can be a place for wonderment and excitement (My Name Is Earl, How I Met Your Mother, Rastamouse), wouldn't that be nice to see, television shows that cheer you up rather than shows that make you want to smash your t.v. over your head. Apologies for the shortness of this blog but hopefully I will be back very soon with something that resembles a coherent blog.
"The Amazing Adventures Of A Nobody", centres on the travels of Leon Logothetis. There are three series, in one series he has to travel around the U.K. on £5 a day, he also travels the U.S. ( on $5 a day) and Europe (€5 a day). This may spoil it a little bit but he successfully completes each tour, mostly because of the helpfulness of the strangers he meets on his travels. Sometimes it's good to put on a t.v. show and actually feel happy. We live in a society where most t.v. shows perpetuate old fashioned stereotypes and pump you full of fear that when you come across a gem like this it's hard not to smile. Leon, is such a delightfully charming person that you do think that if anyone else did the show they may not have got so far. Honestly, Leon manages to charm and entertain almost everyone he encounters, on numerous occasions getting free lifts, a bed for the night, free meals and train tickets. If you ever get the chance to watch this show don't pass it up because you will regret not watching it. The people he meets on his travels are so interesting in particular the ones that help him, he encounters everyone from off duty soldiers to refugees. Each have their own story in which Leon takes the time to listen to ( sometimes putting his own troubles into perspective). He didn't do those journey's for the fame (clearly) or for any monetary gain, but to meet new people and for the sense of adventure.
I was lucky in the fact that I managed to get hold of the DVDs from the production company (Shankley Productions) because we (my fiancée and I) had seen a couple of episodes a couple of years back we knew we had to look for it, and after a bit of research managed to email someone at the production company who sent them. The point of this rather short blog post is that television doesn't need to be all doom and gloom (Eastenders, Hollyoaks, Sky news) in fact t.v. can be a place for wonderment and excitement (My Name Is Earl, How I Met Your Mother, Rastamouse), wouldn't that be nice to see, television shows that cheer you up rather than shows that make you want to smash your t.v. over your head. Apologies for the shortness of this blog but hopefully I will be back very soon with something that resembles a coherent blog.
Thursday, 10 February 2011
Cinema? No thanks! I think I'd rather drink rat piss til I get a disease.
I'm gonna level with ya, if your reading this thinking I may write about new movies. Your in for a disappointment but don't despair it's just one of the many you will endure on the ongoing journey to the crypt. I don't go to the cinema and I won't go to the cinema, there is not a good enough reason to make me to go, and there are plenty of reasons why I wouldn't and I think this may well be the topic of this very blog.
Reason one: The Internet
This might be because I'm insanely lazy or a because I'm crap in most social situations, but I would much rather download a movie from iTunes and watch it on my big screen t.v. via an apple t.v. box (by the way that last sentence wasn't intended as bragging) it's hd quality (albeit 720p) and it's quick and simple and let's face it that's what our society is aiming for right?! Isn't the future all robots and computers that do everything while we overpopulated the world with slow witted obese twat bags that will never work a day in their life ( sorry been watching too much Jezza Kyle and sci-fi movies). Fuck leaving my living room, big t.v., surround sound and an 99% chance of not getting stabbed (1% chance cos the misses may well tire of my bullshit, wouldn't blame her I'm getting pretty tired of it myself). Anyways I could talk all day about the intricacy of my relationship but you would get bored and my misses would rip my balls off and feed them to pigs ( she's watched too many Guy Ritchie movies) the point I'm making is if there is an easier way of doing something I'm going to do it that way, that even means that I will wait for a film to come out on DVD or the iTunes store rather than leave the safety of my home to go watch a movie at the cinema.
Reason two: The Cinema
I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema or even what film I saw ( although I suspect it was "Get him to the Greek"). If you are truly honest with yourself you can admit what a harrowing experience going to the cinema is. Firstly you have to turn up at the cinema to watch a film at a time that they allocate and it's always some strange time like 21:45 or 22:10 it might be because I'm slightly OCD but I want my films to start on the hour. So after you have picked the film you want to watch out of a choice of 6 ( which really isn't the freedom of choice I'm used to in this day and age) You then get to choose what overpriced snacks you want to buy ( oooohhh! Do I spend my hard earned money on the £5 drink or the £3 sweets?) seriously where the hell do cinemas get off charging so much?! If you popped into tesco and bought a bottle of pepsi and the person at the till told you it cost £5 you would probably tell them to fuck off. So why do we accept this case of extortion if ordinarily we wouldn't? Sometimes they even search you for food to prevent you from taking anything in from home. So forgive me if I prefer being at home to being searched by the food Nazis. Welcome to a Hollywood holocaust in which carrying a chocolate bar is considered to be on a par with possession of a wrap of cocaine and a shopping list is considered a thought crime.
Reason three: The movies
I think that the biggest and best reason for not going to the cinema, has to be the quality of the films. Let's face it apart from the odd film like "Inception" Hollywood really doesn't put out the decent quality it used to. If you go the cinema on any given day your going to be confronted by the following choices;
A soulless cgi movie for kids that lacks in plot and charm.
A hapless horror movie that follows tIred clichès and isn't remotely scary.
A pointless action movie starring some knuckle drugging ape as some guy who has to avenge something for some reason.
And whatever cheesy romantic comedy starring Jennifer Anniston in her usual Rachel from Friends persona.
So forgive me for choosing watching movies at home over being over charged to spend two hours in a room with a bunch of disease spreaders while being subjected to the latest piece of shit Hollywood considers to be a movie. When is the movie industry going to realize going to the cinema is as dead as the newspaper industry and Maddy ( most probably, don't hate me too much for that).
Reason one: The Internet
This might be because I'm insanely lazy or a because I'm crap in most social situations, but I would much rather download a movie from iTunes and watch it on my big screen t.v. via an apple t.v. box (by the way that last sentence wasn't intended as bragging) it's hd quality (albeit 720p) and it's quick and simple and let's face it that's what our society is aiming for right?! Isn't the future all robots and computers that do everything while we overpopulated the world with slow witted obese twat bags that will never work a day in their life ( sorry been watching too much Jezza Kyle and sci-fi movies). Fuck leaving my living room, big t.v., surround sound and an 99% chance of not getting stabbed (1% chance cos the misses may well tire of my bullshit, wouldn't blame her I'm getting pretty tired of it myself). Anyways I could talk all day about the intricacy of my relationship but you would get bored and my misses would rip my balls off and feed them to pigs ( she's watched too many Guy Ritchie movies) the point I'm making is if there is an easier way of doing something I'm going to do it that way, that even means that I will wait for a film to come out on DVD or the iTunes store rather than leave the safety of my home to go watch a movie at the cinema.
Reason two: The Cinema
I can't remember the last time I went to the cinema or even what film I saw ( although I suspect it was "Get him to the Greek"). If you are truly honest with yourself you can admit what a harrowing experience going to the cinema is. Firstly you have to turn up at the cinema to watch a film at a time that they allocate and it's always some strange time like 21:45 or 22:10 it might be because I'm slightly OCD but I want my films to start on the hour. So after you have picked the film you want to watch out of a choice of 6 ( which really isn't the freedom of choice I'm used to in this day and age) You then get to choose what overpriced snacks you want to buy ( oooohhh! Do I spend my hard earned money on the £5 drink or the £3 sweets?) seriously where the hell do cinemas get off charging so much?! If you popped into tesco and bought a bottle of pepsi and the person at the till told you it cost £5 you would probably tell them to fuck off. So why do we accept this case of extortion if ordinarily we wouldn't? Sometimes they even search you for food to prevent you from taking anything in from home. So forgive me if I prefer being at home to being searched by the food Nazis. Welcome to a Hollywood holocaust in which carrying a chocolate bar is considered to be on a par with possession of a wrap of cocaine and a shopping list is considered a thought crime.
Reason three: The movies
I think that the biggest and best reason for not going to the cinema, has to be the quality of the films. Let's face it apart from the odd film like "Inception" Hollywood really doesn't put out the decent quality it used to. If you go the cinema on any given day your going to be confronted by the following choices;
A soulless cgi movie for kids that lacks in plot and charm.
A hapless horror movie that follows tIred clichès and isn't remotely scary.
A pointless action movie starring some knuckle drugging ape as some guy who has to avenge something for some reason.
And whatever cheesy romantic comedy starring Jennifer Anniston in her usual Rachel from Friends persona.
So forgive me for choosing watching movies at home over being over charged to spend two hours in a room with a bunch of disease spreaders while being subjected to the latest piece of shit Hollywood considers to be a movie. When is the movie industry going to realize going to the cinema is as dead as the newspaper industry and Maddy ( most probably, don't hate me too much for that).
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
The Curious Case Of Jeremy Kyle
I'll be honest here, I was struggling to come up with a topic for this blog. I could talk about the civil unrest in Egypt (but I'm far too ignorant) or the sacking of Andy Gray and Richard Keys (but anyone who knows me, will know I've probably said worse. On the subject of Andy Gray, when I was playing FIFA 11 I think he called Fernando Torres sugartits, but I digress.) I could even discuss the protests in London by Uk Uncut ( once again way too ignorant.). So I'm racking my brain (lying on the couch doing nothing) trying to think of a subject that will get people interested, words that may inspire others or at the very least provoke thought, argument or a giggle (btw who giggles, I laugh, my friends laugh, I don't ever hear people giggle and I've never heard a guffaw). So while waiting on this divine inspiration to fall in to my reclined lap, it hit me, well I say it hit me but it was more of a case of my fiancée hitting the 6 button on the free view remote. Yes my inspiration came from ITV2. That's right ITV2, the channel that brings us televisual classics such as "The only way is Essex" (which is kind of like a reality t.v. Version of "The O.C." except the c stands for cunts.), Kerry Katona: The Next Chapter ( in which the audience is constantly hoping that the next chapter involves chains and meat cleaver.) and Peter Andre: The next chapter ( a candid show that captures the Aussie pop singer and former sperm donor for Katie Price struggling to read the hungry caterpillar.). So what inspired piece of programming will I be discussing in this barely read and even less enjoyed blog? Here's a clue I'm going to cut the crap and "draw a line in the sand". Got it yet? Yeah that's right. I'm going to talk about Jeremy Kyle.
What can I say about Jeremy Kyle that hasn't been said already? Well let me try by saying I actually love this piece of shit show. I think its amazing. No other show on television shows you the truth that most problems can be solved by shouting. I enjoy this show because when I'm feeling that my life is crap and things aren't going to plan I can sit down, put on Jeremy Kyle and just bask in the glow of other people's lives going down the crapper. I'm not a "good" person in the slightest but compared to the pricks they get on this show I look like Ghandi. Where the fuck does he find these people? I'm thinking a lot of the "guests" are either the inbred hill people from "The Hills Have Eyes" or some of the children that Josef Fritzl had with his now estranged daughter. Most of the people who come on are identikit copies, they all seem to be on benefits and drugs and have never heard the word contraception ( which is fine but I think they should have been sterilized at some point). It must be hard for poor Jeremy ( don't worry insults will come later) to deal with this influx of slags and chavs and almost definitely having to deal with the stress of filming more than one show a day in order to fulfill ITV's requirements, while at the same time having to schedule around his guests benefits pay days. The stress of listening to these people's bullshit probably means that he won't live to 50 ( here's hoping anyway). The main thing that Jeremy does on his show is reveal results from tests, either lie detector (of course he cheated he's got a cock hasn't he?) and DNA ( would love it if the DNA test showed that the guests were in fact another species, that would definitely make me feel better about mankind), but how about Jezza ups the anty a little I wanna see people recording the results of a HIV test (serves you right for being a slag).
As for Mr Kyle, he must be one of the angriest men in Britain (Myself coming a close second). He shouts at his guests with no thought of the consequence and has been close to being hit on a few occasions. A usual episode will consist of some chav shouting, a slag crying, Kyle shouting then revealing a test result and then Jezza passes the buck on to long suffering life partner Graham ( if you look into his eyes they are trying to hide some dark secret of Jeremy's). I recently watched an episode in which he went around Britain confronting people that were claiming benefits, yeah nice one mate just take a swipe at your audience. I'm surprised he hasn't gone after teen mums, druggies and the elderly (oh wait). Jeremy my son don't bite the hand that feeds you. You don't see these work dodging, benefits collecting breeders go after tax payers do you? Kyle himself has had his own demons, not drink, drugs or women but gambling which is clearly the reason his show is sponsored by numerous online bingo companies (gotta pay back those debts right? I guess it serves you right for putting a wager on Audley Harrison.)
To sum up TJKS as I never call it, its white trash television. Not Jerry Springer white trash because, well we are British after all. We might drink, take drugs and have indiscriminate sex but we won't get naked and fight by a stripper poll, while an over weight pervert with a primary school education (or potential sun reader) plays sound effects taken from a seriously perverse episode of sesame street. Jeremy Kyle is clearly one of the four horseman, this is apocolypse, this is broken Britain, put your slippers on, get yourself a cupper, get comfy, sit back and enjoy. Feel free to add your opinions below or contact me personally in twitter. I'm @IamWicksie and this has been my Bloggle.
What can I say about Jeremy Kyle that hasn't been said already? Well let me try by saying I actually love this piece of shit show. I think its amazing. No other show on television shows you the truth that most problems can be solved by shouting. I enjoy this show because when I'm feeling that my life is crap and things aren't going to plan I can sit down, put on Jeremy Kyle and just bask in the glow of other people's lives going down the crapper. I'm not a "good" person in the slightest but compared to the pricks they get on this show I look like Ghandi. Where the fuck does he find these people? I'm thinking a lot of the "guests" are either the inbred hill people from "The Hills Have Eyes" or some of the children that Josef Fritzl had with his now estranged daughter. Most of the people who come on are identikit copies, they all seem to be on benefits and drugs and have never heard the word contraception ( which is fine but I think they should have been sterilized at some point). It must be hard for poor Jeremy ( don't worry insults will come later) to deal with this influx of slags and chavs and almost definitely having to deal with the stress of filming more than one show a day in order to fulfill ITV's requirements, while at the same time having to schedule around his guests benefits pay days. The stress of listening to these people's bullshit probably means that he won't live to 50 ( here's hoping anyway). The main thing that Jeremy does on his show is reveal results from tests, either lie detector (of course he cheated he's got a cock hasn't he?) and DNA ( would love it if the DNA test showed that the guests were in fact another species, that would definitely make me feel better about mankind), but how about Jezza ups the anty a little I wanna see people recording the results of a HIV test (serves you right for being a slag).
As for Mr Kyle, he must be one of the angriest men in Britain (Myself coming a close second). He shouts at his guests with no thought of the consequence and has been close to being hit on a few occasions. A usual episode will consist of some chav shouting, a slag crying, Kyle shouting then revealing a test result and then Jezza passes the buck on to long suffering life partner Graham ( if you look into his eyes they are trying to hide some dark secret of Jeremy's). I recently watched an episode in which he went around Britain confronting people that were claiming benefits, yeah nice one mate just take a swipe at your audience. I'm surprised he hasn't gone after teen mums, druggies and the elderly (oh wait). Jeremy my son don't bite the hand that feeds you. You don't see these work dodging, benefits collecting breeders go after tax payers do you? Kyle himself has had his own demons, not drink, drugs or women but gambling which is clearly the reason his show is sponsored by numerous online bingo companies (gotta pay back those debts right? I guess it serves you right for putting a wager on Audley Harrison.)
To sum up TJKS as I never call it, its white trash television. Not Jerry Springer white trash because, well we are British after all. We might drink, take drugs and have indiscriminate sex but we won't get naked and fight by a stripper poll, while an over weight pervert with a primary school education (or potential sun reader) plays sound effects taken from a seriously perverse episode of sesame street. Jeremy Kyle is clearly one of the four horseman, this is apocolypse, this is broken Britain, put your slippers on, get yourself a cupper, get comfy, sit back and enjoy. Feel free to add your opinions below or contact me personally in twitter. I'm @IamWicksie and this has been my Bloggle.
Friday, 28 January 2011
Portable gaming in the iAge.
So this month has been quite an exciting one for me and my fellow technophiles ( people who enjoy tech, not some form of electronically enhanced sex offender) with Nintendo announcing the release date of the highly anticipated 3DS and Sony unveiling their brand new portable console which is currently got the project name of Next Generation Portable. So the future seems bright for portable gaming, or does it (and by that I mean No, it doesn't.).
I could use this blog to talk about the new devices, speculating on what they will be like without actually experiencing it. I could quote the specs for both devices and compare them with each other and what's around, but I think that would be a bigger waste of time than watching ITV (with the exception of the football). You see my biggest issue with portable gaming is that in my opinion it's as obsolete as the newspaper industry (Everyone knows that its a dead format except the people making them). I realize I'm making these statements based on old portable consoles (Nintendo DS & PSP) but my understanding of portable gaming is that it's a games device you can take everywhere. That's fine both are capable of doing that but I can't remember the last time I was on the tube, bus or train and I saw someone playing a PSP or DS. I've not even seen an advert for the DS where someone is using it outside of their home. I believe the reason for this is the mobile phone. The main difference between now and 1990 ( the European release date for the original gameboy) is the rise of the mobile phone. Mobile phones today are incredible, they are basically small computers that can also from time to time make and receive phone calls and text messages. The hardware that gets packed into a phone these days is a scaled down version of what we used to get in computers only a couple of years ago. The operating software such as Google's Android and Apple's iOS is so incredibly quick and intuitive, that using mobile phones is not the chore it once was (I'm looking at you here, Nokia. Seriously I am never buying a Nokia phone ever again, but I can save that for another blog.) the apps that you can download today are amazing, there pretty much is an app for everything. The games you can download from Google Market place or Apple's app store are simply fantastic. The point I'm trying to make here is why on earth would I bother taking an extra portable device with me, when my iPhone has a pretty decent selection of games, I don't need to bother with cartridges all the games are on my phone already and if not I can always download them (network permitting). Another issue for me is cost, the new 3DS is going to cost £230, the current DSi XL costs around £150 and so does the PSP go. Is it really worthy spending such money on a device that essentially does one thing (I'm fully aware that you can take photos on the DS and you can watch movies on the PSP, but my phone does all that and more.) . Then there is the cost of the games, a brand new DS or PSP game can cost as much as £35 (3DS games rrp is £39.99) so essentially I can buy FIFA 11 for the DS for £30 but I could also get the iPhone version which is not too dissimilar for £2.99 from the app store. A phone is a hell of a lot easier to pull out and play a game on compared to a portable console, there's hardly any loading time and if my phone does get nicked it's insured (I'm also aware that you can insure a portable console, but who does that?).
I'm not saying portable consoles are all bad but there is a few things that they need to work on in order to make me interested. Firstly out of all the games I've played, only one PSP game (One of the smackdown games) let me carry on a game from a home console (PS2), I would be the first one in line to buy Sony's latest device if it allowed me to carry on a season mode from FIFA and play it out and about, even if the graphics and game play are slightly different being able to take my games with me is a dealmaker. With tablet devices being last years biggest gadget and with many more on the way, can the portable console really make a come back? Only time will tell, but it's safe to say it's going to be an exciting year for gadget fans like me. Sorry if this one is a bit more serious than usual, hopefully will be writing something a bit funnier soon.
I could use this blog to talk about the new devices, speculating on what they will be like without actually experiencing it. I could quote the specs for both devices and compare them with each other and what's around, but I think that would be a bigger waste of time than watching ITV (with the exception of the football). You see my biggest issue with portable gaming is that in my opinion it's as obsolete as the newspaper industry (Everyone knows that its a dead format except the people making them). I realize I'm making these statements based on old portable consoles (Nintendo DS & PSP) but my understanding of portable gaming is that it's a games device you can take everywhere. That's fine both are capable of doing that but I can't remember the last time I was on the tube, bus or train and I saw someone playing a PSP or DS. I've not even seen an advert for the DS where someone is using it outside of their home. I believe the reason for this is the mobile phone. The main difference between now and 1990 ( the European release date for the original gameboy) is the rise of the mobile phone. Mobile phones today are incredible, they are basically small computers that can also from time to time make and receive phone calls and text messages. The hardware that gets packed into a phone these days is a scaled down version of what we used to get in computers only a couple of years ago. The operating software such as Google's Android and Apple's iOS is so incredibly quick and intuitive, that using mobile phones is not the chore it once was (I'm looking at you here, Nokia. Seriously I am never buying a Nokia phone ever again, but I can save that for another blog.) the apps that you can download today are amazing, there pretty much is an app for everything. The games you can download from Google Market place or Apple's app store are simply fantastic. The point I'm trying to make here is why on earth would I bother taking an extra portable device with me, when my iPhone has a pretty decent selection of games, I don't need to bother with cartridges all the games are on my phone already and if not I can always download them (network permitting). Another issue for me is cost, the new 3DS is going to cost £230, the current DSi XL costs around £150 and so does the PSP go. Is it really worthy spending such money on a device that essentially does one thing (I'm fully aware that you can take photos on the DS and you can watch movies on the PSP, but my phone does all that and more.) . Then there is the cost of the games, a brand new DS or PSP game can cost as much as £35 (3DS games rrp is £39.99) so essentially I can buy FIFA 11 for the DS for £30 but I could also get the iPhone version which is not too dissimilar for £2.99 from the app store. A phone is a hell of a lot easier to pull out and play a game on compared to a portable console, there's hardly any loading time and if my phone does get nicked it's insured (I'm also aware that you can insure a portable console, but who does that?).
I'm not saying portable consoles are all bad but there is a few things that they need to work on in order to make me interested. Firstly out of all the games I've played, only one PSP game (One of the smackdown games) let me carry on a game from a home console (PS2), I would be the first one in line to buy Sony's latest device if it allowed me to carry on a season mode from FIFA and play it out and about, even if the graphics and game play are slightly different being able to take my games with me is a dealmaker. With tablet devices being last years biggest gadget and with many more on the way, can the portable console really make a come back? Only time will tell, but it's safe to say it's going to be an exciting year for gadget fans like me. Sorry if this one is a bit more serious than usual, hopefully will be writing something a bit funnier soon.
Sunday, 23 January 2011
Films that make you huh!!!
When I first decided to write this blog I kind of made it my mission statement to discuss tech, t.v. And movies.
Well blog one was about the iPad (tech) blog two was about the Fresh Prince (t.v.) so to even things up so to speak I am going to discuss some movies, but not just any movies I'm going to discuss the five worst movies I have ever watched (and by watched I mean had my retinas burnt by). I'm talking about the kind of movie that has you begging for the sweet release of death or at the very least the tools to remove your eyes from their sockets. So here it is after much bullshit and procrastination is the least of my least favourite movies in no particular order.
1. Reeker (2005) Dir. Dave Payne.
A couple of years back me and my fiancée were on a bit of a horror movie kick, once we had got through the classics like the early 'Saw' movies, 'Nightmare on Elm street', Halloween and anything by Rob Zombie (FYI if you haven't seen a movie by Zombie, you are missing out he is the Tarantio of shock horror) to name a few. We started trawling for cheap looking horror movies in supermarket bargain bins to see if we could find a gem ( which by the way was a fruitless endeavor) and came across Reeker. Never has a title been so apt since I saw a book about Josef Fritzl that was called 'Monster' (which is actually an impressive DIY manual for any budding Fritzl's). So what makes the movie so bad, in all honesty there probably isn't a good thing about this movie apart from the ending credits indicating I can put away the hand gun for another day. One of the keys to a horror movie that seems to be forgotten in modern horror is empathy. Yes that's right empathy if I can't relate to or at least feel for the character I'm not going to be bothered if they are brutally slaughtered. (take note Cloverfield, but more on that later.) So everyone that gets holed up in the skanky motel in the middle of nowhere are completely unrelatable or to a lesser extent douche bags. Whether it be the drug dealer or the two thieving druggies or anyone else caught up. I can't relate to these people, they're dicks. The monster in this movie is some sort of disfigured creature that looks like the offspring of Edward Scissorhands and a tefal blender. He sounds scary right? In all honesty he looks it but he does have a major drawback. What is it I hear no one ask? An Oedipus complex (like Jason from 'Friday the 13th'), short stature ( like Chucky from 'Childs play') or a completely rational fear of fire ( like Freddy from 'Nightmare on Elm street') oh no it's nothing silly like any of those, no. The Reeker stinks, that's right he smells really bad, so therefore can be detected early enough to get away. You would think. This collective of retards manages to go with every tired clichè of the genre. I.e. they split up and investigate their surroundings (another reason for no sympathy). One by one they are murdered and if I recall correctly one gets away. This piece of shit movie worries me, if someone at a studio read this script and decided it would make a good movie what other crap are they going to bring out (see 'Rubber' http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/).
2. Cloverfield (2008) Dir. Matt Reeves.
What can I say about this movie, that hasn't been covered before? Well in my opinion I think this movie shares similar qualities to 'One Night in Paris' ( the Paris Hilton sex tape) it's amateurish (I'm fully aware that it is supposed to be as it was mainly filmed on handicams, but this has been done a million times before and anyone who thought 'Godzilla' meets 'Blair Witch' was a good concept needs to be hunted down and killed by mob in a similar way to how some countries treat sex offenders (watch out Polanski).) It's self indulgent ( soo much unwarranted publicity) and you know from the start the main character is gonna be fucked. In all honesty when a film associated with J.J. Abrams comes out, you have to check it out because the guy brought us 'Lost'. However that clearly didn't count for shit. This film has characters that are so dull and vapid and just so fucking unlikeable that you feel that if they had cast Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and Katie Price, you may have actually felt some empathy. This film suffered from it's very successful viral marketing campaign and never lived up to the hype. It was kind of like being a kid, waiting all year for Christmas only to be woken up on Christmas day by the sound of a man dressed as Father Christmas fucking your mum (something I will never forgive Tim Allen for, that and 'Wild Hogs'.) To sum up 'Cloverfield' in five words it would be "Do a sequel, you die.".
3. Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) Dir. Chris Weitz
Anyone who has a girlfriend, fiancée or wife of a certain age has probably been forced to watch at least one of the 'Twilight' movies or as my mate Cheese (who also has a blog at http://cheeseytrout.blogspot.com/) refers to them the Twiglett Saga. It's not that it's a bad series of movies because at times there are moments that appeal to both men and women. The problem with this movie is that it's middle of the road. In terms of action it's lacking and the movie just drags you along kicking and screaming like an Ipswich prostitute. There are moments so dull that you begin to play a little game in which you spot things around the room in which you can bludgeon yourself to death with, in this instance I counted 5 if I can count bludgeoning my mind with a book by Katie Price. 'Twilight' sets up the story nicely and 'Eclipse' keeps you looking forward to 'Breaking Dawn' but 'New Moon' works like an anti-depressant, it makes you numb on the inside. Bella is such a depressing character that I think she would make a Valium contemplate suicide. Have you ever watched a movie and thought to yourself I have just lost hours of my life to this piece of crap, hours I will never see again, hours that I could have spent with loved ones, hours that I will curse on my deathbed? Well this is one of them. I know that I run a risk of reprisal from die-hard 'Twilight' fans or single women as they are more commonly known, but I'm not actually putting down the whole saga just this worthless piece of shit, but I better stop before a "Twi-Hard" sucks my blood and tries to make sweet love to my rotting corpse.
4. American Virgin (2009) Dir. Clare Kilner.
Can anybody tell me how the fuck Rob Sneider gets work? Honestly the guy is about as funny as bollock cancer & less appealing to boot. He looks like a pool boy with down syndrome. Seriously what's his fucking appeal? What demographics does he bring in? Oh I hear he tests well with sexually repressed inbred hicks ages 18-29. This film is based around a girl who is one of those promise ring wearing virgin types ( the kind that you see on milk cartons throughout America and are usually found dead in a motel room after being viciously sexually assaulted by a close family member.) and her new room mate who is essentially a female Van Wilder but with more balls. After accidentally getting drunk ( too naive to realise that a jello shot contains alcohol) the virgin type is video taped doing numerous lewd and drunken acts for a "Chicks go crazy" video (a cheap rip off of girls gone wild). She then has to track down the scumbag responsible for making this video (enter Rob Schneider) and prevent him from ever releasing it, for fear of losing everything she has. Instead of making a statement about how stupid the whole concept of promise rings and abstinence is ( see 'Teeth' http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/) it just spends the film sinking to new depths. Predictably the girl abandoned her values and everything works out in the end. An ending that you could see from the DVD cover (ooh 'American Virgins' I wonder if someone will lose their virginity). If you find yourself watching this movie, run away!!! If that's not an option then I would suggest sticking a sharp object up your arse because it really can't get that much more unpleasant.
5. Batman Forever (1995) & Batman & Robin (1997) Dir. Joel Schumacher
I know what your thinking two movies?! What's that all about? Well I can't talk about how shit one is without mentioning how shit the other one is. They are part of the same shit stained, fuck brained, wanky parcel. Just a bit of advice Joel when you depict the Dark Knight on the big screen you have two options. You can make Batman dark and mysterious like Tim Burton ( 'Batman' & 'Batman Returns') or dark and mysterious like Chris Nolan ( 'Batman Begins' & 'The Dark Knight') you don't go for the nonexistent option of camp and shit like the t.v. Series starring Adam West. I will tell you the only good thing about these movies. Jim Carrey as the Riddler, he was a ray of sunshine on a day like 9/11. Batman should be a character of a typical male, someone who sets out to control his surroundings, has to fix problems that aren't his own and someone who probably needs to learn to communicate a little better. Batman is not a gay icon. He shouldn't be there are better icons for members of the gay community and Batman should be asexual (I'm not saying Batman is gay in these movies, but he's not really Batman in these movies.). The villains in these two movies ( with the obvious exclusion of Riddler) are shit one dimensional beings that give you no taste of the true Batman experience. If the character doesn't have a good back story then they are just badly cast or even changed from the comics to such an extreme that you feel robbed. Two-face has no real back story, in this film he got half his face burnt by acid when he was in court as the District Attorney. Apparently such an event can make you an evil master mind if that's the case we should all be a little worried about what Katie Piper (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1221077/Katie-Piper-Acid-attack-victim-bravely-shows-face-disfigured-boyfriend-Daniel-Lynch.html) has up her sleeve. Bane in 'Batman & Robin' was a test subject for a super soldier like formula that gives him incredible strength, however in the comics he is an evil mastermind capable of matching wits with the worlds greatest detective. In this film he is nothing but a henchman a disposable pawn in Poison Ivy's wicked if not limp wristed plan. Poison Ivy herself is an ok character in this movie and maybe it's the fact I don't find Uma Thurman the least bit attractive that I don't understand the power she has over Batman & Robin. Mr Freeze the last of the villains in these completely shite Batman movies is a case of bad casting, the character has a reason for committing crimes, a pretty decent motive but casting Arnold Schwarzenegger was the equivalent of someone lending their tools to Josef Fritzl. Just something you shouldn't do. The role requires someone capable of being evil but who has a heart, seeing as Arnie is now a Republican Governer he can do evil but because he's a republican governor lacks a heart. My last gripe with these piece of shit movies is Robin. I don't think I have ever met anyone who likes him, and I'm sure I've never heard anyone mutter the phrase "oh Chris O'Donnell I really liked him in....". That's because both are intolerable pricks especially in these movies. If I saw my family murdered by a half faced criminal "mastermind" my first thought would not be to avenge their murders by dressing up as superhero and being a cunt. I think I might grieve a little and then look for the latest copy of everyones wills and organize the funeral, but that's just me. My fiancée for some unknown reason actually enjoys these films (obviously not as much as 'The Dark Knight' but still a fair amount.) and it is probably one of the many things we don't see eye to eye on, because in my opinion these films are atrocities. They Should be stricken from all records and put into protective custody like John Venables.
So there we have it 5 (or 6) movies that I wouldn't wish my worst enemies to see. Movies that almost make you wish that the art form of cinema had never been created. So if you watch any of these after my warning don't say I didn't warn you and if you have had this misfortune of watching these movies and actually disagree I welcome your opinions. And just as a bonus here is a quick list of films that didn't quite make the cut.
6.Ripper (2001) Dir. John Eyres.
7. Satan's little helper (2004) Dir. Jeff Lieberman.
8. American Pie 3: The wedding (2003) Dir. Jesse Dylan.
9. Any movie that ends in movie that wasn't the original two 'Scary Movies'.
10. Any movie with Jennifer Annistan that isn't 'The Break Up'.
So thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully a new blog will be up soon.
Well blog one was about the iPad (tech) blog two was about the Fresh Prince (t.v.) so to even things up so to speak I am going to discuss some movies, but not just any movies I'm going to discuss the five worst movies I have ever watched (and by watched I mean had my retinas burnt by). I'm talking about the kind of movie that has you begging for the sweet release of death or at the very least the tools to remove your eyes from their sockets. So here it is after much bullshit and procrastination is the least of my least favourite movies in no particular order.
1. Reeker (2005) Dir. Dave Payne.
A couple of years back me and my fiancée were on a bit of a horror movie kick, once we had got through the classics like the early 'Saw' movies, 'Nightmare on Elm street', Halloween and anything by Rob Zombie (FYI if you haven't seen a movie by Zombie, you are missing out he is the Tarantio of shock horror) to name a few. We started trawling for cheap looking horror movies in supermarket bargain bins to see if we could find a gem ( which by the way was a fruitless endeavor) and came across Reeker. Never has a title been so apt since I saw a book about Josef Fritzl that was called 'Monster' (which is actually an impressive DIY manual for any budding Fritzl's). So what makes the movie so bad, in all honesty there probably isn't a good thing about this movie apart from the ending credits indicating I can put away the hand gun for another day. One of the keys to a horror movie that seems to be forgotten in modern horror is empathy. Yes that's right empathy if I can't relate to or at least feel for the character I'm not going to be bothered if they are brutally slaughtered. (take note Cloverfield, but more on that later.) So everyone that gets holed up in the skanky motel in the middle of nowhere are completely unrelatable or to a lesser extent douche bags. Whether it be the drug dealer or the two thieving druggies or anyone else caught up. I can't relate to these people, they're dicks. The monster in this movie is some sort of disfigured creature that looks like the offspring of Edward Scissorhands and a tefal blender. He sounds scary right? In all honesty he looks it but he does have a major drawback. What is it I hear no one ask? An Oedipus complex (like Jason from 'Friday the 13th'), short stature ( like Chucky from 'Childs play') or a completely rational fear of fire ( like Freddy from 'Nightmare on Elm street') oh no it's nothing silly like any of those, no. The Reeker stinks, that's right he smells really bad, so therefore can be detected early enough to get away. You would think. This collective of retards manages to go with every tired clichè of the genre. I.e. they split up and investigate their surroundings (another reason for no sympathy). One by one they are murdered and if I recall correctly one gets away. This piece of shit movie worries me, if someone at a studio read this script and decided it would make a good movie what other crap are they going to bring out (see 'Rubber' http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1612774/).
2. Cloverfield (2008) Dir. Matt Reeves.
What can I say about this movie, that hasn't been covered before? Well in my opinion I think this movie shares similar qualities to 'One Night in Paris' ( the Paris Hilton sex tape) it's amateurish (I'm fully aware that it is supposed to be as it was mainly filmed on handicams, but this has been done a million times before and anyone who thought 'Godzilla' meets 'Blair Witch' was a good concept needs to be hunted down and killed by mob in a similar way to how some countries treat sex offenders (watch out Polanski).) It's self indulgent ( soo much unwarranted publicity) and you know from the start the main character is gonna be fucked. In all honesty when a film associated with J.J. Abrams comes out, you have to check it out because the guy brought us 'Lost'. However that clearly didn't count for shit. This film has characters that are so dull and vapid and just so fucking unlikeable that you feel that if they had cast Hitler, Osama Bin Laden and Katie Price, you may have actually felt some empathy. This film suffered from it's very successful viral marketing campaign and never lived up to the hype. It was kind of like being a kid, waiting all year for Christmas only to be woken up on Christmas day by the sound of a man dressed as Father Christmas fucking your mum (something I will never forgive Tim Allen for, that and 'Wild Hogs'.) To sum up 'Cloverfield' in five words it would be "Do a sequel, you die.".
3. Twilight Saga: New Moon (2009) Dir. Chris Weitz
Anyone who has a girlfriend, fiancée or wife of a certain age has probably been forced to watch at least one of the 'Twilight' movies or as my mate Cheese (who also has a blog at http://cheeseytrout.blogspot.com/) refers to them the Twiglett Saga. It's not that it's a bad series of movies because at times there are moments that appeal to both men and women. The problem with this movie is that it's middle of the road. In terms of action it's lacking and the movie just drags you along kicking and screaming like an Ipswich prostitute. There are moments so dull that you begin to play a little game in which you spot things around the room in which you can bludgeon yourself to death with, in this instance I counted 5 if I can count bludgeoning my mind with a book by Katie Price. 'Twilight' sets up the story nicely and 'Eclipse' keeps you looking forward to 'Breaking Dawn' but 'New Moon' works like an anti-depressant, it makes you numb on the inside. Bella is such a depressing character that I think she would make a Valium contemplate suicide. Have you ever watched a movie and thought to yourself I have just lost hours of my life to this piece of crap, hours I will never see again, hours that I could have spent with loved ones, hours that I will curse on my deathbed? Well this is one of them. I know that I run a risk of reprisal from die-hard 'Twilight' fans or single women as they are more commonly known, but I'm not actually putting down the whole saga just this worthless piece of shit, but I better stop before a "Twi-Hard" sucks my blood and tries to make sweet love to my rotting corpse.
4. American Virgin (2009) Dir. Clare Kilner.
Can anybody tell me how the fuck Rob Sneider gets work? Honestly the guy is about as funny as bollock cancer & less appealing to boot. He looks like a pool boy with down syndrome. Seriously what's his fucking appeal? What demographics does he bring in? Oh I hear he tests well with sexually repressed inbred hicks ages 18-29. This film is based around a girl who is one of those promise ring wearing virgin types ( the kind that you see on milk cartons throughout America and are usually found dead in a motel room after being viciously sexually assaulted by a close family member.) and her new room mate who is essentially a female Van Wilder but with more balls. After accidentally getting drunk ( too naive to realise that a jello shot contains alcohol) the virgin type is video taped doing numerous lewd and drunken acts for a "Chicks go crazy" video (a cheap rip off of girls gone wild). She then has to track down the scumbag responsible for making this video (enter Rob Schneider) and prevent him from ever releasing it, for fear of losing everything she has. Instead of making a statement about how stupid the whole concept of promise rings and abstinence is ( see 'Teeth' http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0780622/) it just spends the film sinking to new depths. Predictably the girl abandoned her values and everything works out in the end. An ending that you could see from the DVD cover (ooh 'American Virgins' I wonder if someone will lose their virginity). If you find yourself watching this movie, run away!!! If that's not an option then I would suggest sticking a sharp object up your arse because it really can't get that much more unpleasant.
5. Batman Forever (1995) & Batman & Robin (1997) Dir. Joel Schumacher
I know what your thinking two movies?! What's that all about? Well I can't talk about how shit one is without mentioning how shit the other one is. They are part of the same shit stained, fuck brained, wanky parcel. Just a bit of advice Joel when you depict the Dark Knight on the big screen you have two options. You can make Batman dark and mysterious like Tim Burton ( 'Batman' & 'Batman Returns') or dark and mysterious like Chris Nolan ( 'Batman Begins' & 'The Dark Knight') you don't go for the nonexistent option of camp and shit like the t.v. Series starring Adam West. I will tell you the only good thing about these movies. Jim Carrey as the Riddler, he was a ray of sunshine on a day like 9/11. Batman should be a character of a typical male, someone who sets out to control his surroundings, has to fix problems that aren't his own and someone who probably needs to learn to communicate a little better. Batman is not a gay icon. He shouldn't be there are better icons for members of the gay community and Batman should be asexual (I'm not saying Batman is gay in these movies, but he's not really Batman in these movies.). The villains in these two movies ( with the obvious exclusion of Riddler) are shit one dimensional beings that give you no taste of the true Batman experience. If the character doesn't have a good back story then they are just badly cast or even changed from the comics to such an extreme that you feel robbed. Two-face has no real back story, in this film he got half his face burnt by acid when he was in court as the District Attorney. Apparently such an event can make you an evil master mind if that's the case we should all be a little worried about what Katie Piper (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-1221077/Katie-Piper-Acid-attack-victim-bravely-shows-face-disfigured-boyfriend-Daniel-Lynch.html) has up her sleeve. Bane in 'Batman & Robin' was a test subject for a super soldier like formula that gives him incredible strength, however in the comics he is an evil mastermind capable of matching wits with the worlds greatest detective. In this film he is nothing but a henchman a disposable pawn in Poison Ivy's wicked if not limp wristed plan. Poison Ivy herself is an ok character in this movie and maybe it's the fact I don't find Uma Thurman the least bit attractive that I don't understand the power she has over Batman & Robin. Mr Freeze the last of the villains in these completely shite Batman movies is a case of bad casting, the character has a reason for committing crimes, a pretty decent motive but casting Arnold Schwarzenegger was the equivalent of someone lending their tools to Josef Fritzl. Just something you shouldn't do. The role requires someone capable of being evil but who has a heart, seeing as Arnie is now a Republican Governer he can do evil but because he's a republican governor lacks a heart. My last gripe with these piece of shit movies is Robin. I don't think I have ever met anyone who likes him, and I'm sure I've never heard anyone mutter the phrase "oh Chris O'Donnell I really liked him in....". That's because both are intolerable pricks especially in these movies. If I saw my family murdered by a half faced criminal "mastermind" my first thought would not be to avenge their murders by dressing up as superhero and being a cunt. I think I might grieve a little and then look for the latest copy of everyones wills and organize the funeral, but that's just me. My fiancée for some unknown reason actually enjoys these films (obviously not as much as 'The Dark Knight' but still a fair amount.) and it is probably one of the many things we don't see eye to eye on, because in my opinion these films are atrocities. They Should be stricken from all records and put into protective custody like John Venables.
So there we have it 5 (or 6) movies that I wouldn't wish my worst enemies to see. Movies that almost make you wish that the art form of cinema had never been created. So if you watch any of these after my warning don't say I didn't warn you and if you have had this misfortune of watching these movies and actually disagree I welcome your opinions. And just as a bonus here is a quick list of films that didn't quite make the cut.
6.Ripper (2001) Dir. John Eyres.
7. Satan's little helper (2004) Dir. Jeff Lieberman.
8. American Pie 3: The wedding (2003) Dir. Jesse Dylan.
9. Any movie that ends in movie that wasn't the original two 'Scary Movies'.
10. Any movie with Jennifer Annistan that isn't 'The Break Up'.
So thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully a new blog will be up soon.
Honkeys be trippin'
I've been signed off sick throughout this month, so unfortunately you have the choice of going out and having my illness being doubted by any co-worker that sods law would dictate that I am likely to bump into or I can stay inside and watch crappy day time tv ( ok there is a third choice and that is to knuckle down and work on any of the projects that I have lined up). So crap tv it is, but as a person too broke for subscription tv, my choice of programs is limited and to be totally honest shit. I don't want to watch old people selling antiques to pay for a loft extension, I would much prefer to see a program in which junkies sell stolen goods to pay off a dealer. I don't want to watch a show about people who want to move to Spain to escape the rat race. I want to see a program where someone has to move to a country in which we have no extradition treaty to get away from the police. Anyways I'm going off topic here, the few daytime shows I can tolerate are strangely the ones I've seen time and time again these shows are Friends and the Fresh Prince of Bel Air, and it was from watching episodes of Fresh Prince that I came to this conclusion, racism is an ongoing theme of Will Smiths launching pad.
When you watch Fresh Prince, you get transported to the early 90's, a world dominated by inoffensive rap music, brightly coloured clothes and fade hairstyles. But don't let that distract you from the real issue here. Firstly the white characters in the Fresh Prince are one dimensional carbon copies of each other. According to the book of Smith, all white people are nerdy people who can't dance and wish nothing more than to be African American. Whether it's Will and Carlton's rich classmates or colleagues of Phil. They have one thing in common, they use African American slang in a way that makes you cringe. Will actually seems like the most racist character in the show, his childhood in "Philli" growing up in an area mainly inhabited by fellow African Americans probably has a lot to do with this. Where as the kids of Bel Air (Carlton, Ashley and Hilary) seem to integrate to the point where they are almost colour blind, but Will seems to hold some bigoted opinions, constantly berating Carlton for not acting "black" because of his republican beliefs and his love of Tom Jones. The best quote to prove this would be a poem Will recites to Carlton in front of his best friend Jazz.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, me and Jazz are black, but Carlton what are you?" Will seems to have very defined rules of how young African Americans should act, and Carlton does not doesn't fit in with this stereotype.
But before you think that I'm making this statement because I am white. I'm not there are other racist characters in Fresh Prince. Those characters are called police officers. It seems like almost every time Will got in trouble with the law there was an air of racial motivation behind the arrest. Would he have been nicked if he was white, maybe not, but it is it right to tar all cops with the same brush. Maybe it's justified with acts perpetrated by officers of the LAPD in the 90's but I bet there was also a lot of officers that weren't racist and found this portrayal quite offensive.
I guess the point I make here is kind of pointless I could do the same with 'Only fools and horses' , but from time to time it's kind of gratifying watching an old show and viewing it through different eyes.
When you watch Fresh Prince, you get transported to the early 90's, a world dominated by inoffensive rap music, brightly coloured clothes and fade hairstyles. But don't let that distract you from the real issue here. Firstly the white characters in the Fresh Prince are one dimensional carbon copies of each other. According to the book of Smith, all white people are nerdy people who can't dance and wish nothing more than to be African American. Whether it's Will and Carlton's rich classmates or colleagues of Phil. They have one thing in common, they use African American slang in a way that makes you cringe. Will actually seems like the most racist character in the show, his childhood in "Philli" growing up in an area mainly inhabited by fellow African Americans probably has a lot to do with this. Where as the kids of Bel Air (Carlton, Ashley and Hilary) seem to integrate to the point where they are almost colour blind, but Will seems to hold some bigoted opinions, constantly berating Carlton for not acting "black" because of his republican beliefs and his love of Tom Jones. The best quote to prove this would be a poem Will recites to Carlton in front of his best friend Jazz.
"Roses are red, violets are blue, me and Jazz are black, but Carlton what are you?" Will seems to have very defined rules of how young African Americans should act, and Carlton does not doesn't fit in with this stereotype.
But before you think that I'm making this statement because I am white. I'm not there are other racist characters in Fresh Prince. Those characters are called police officers. It seems like almost every time Will got in trouble with the law there was an air of racial motivation behind the arrest. Would he have been nicked if he was white, maybe not, but it is it right to tar all cops with the same brush. Maybe it's justified with acts perpetrated by officers of the LAPD in the 90's but I bet there was also a lot of officers that weren't racist and found this portrayal quite offensive.
I guess the point I make here is kind of pointless I could do the same with 'Only fools and horses' , but from time to time it's kind of gratifying watching an old show and viewing it through different eyes.
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