Firstly, I would like to apologize for the fact that this blog hasn't been updated in a long time, a lot of personal problems (which most of my friends know about already and doesn't really need to be mentioned again). Anyways I would like to take the opportunity to use this blog to speak on a subject that's very close to my heart, that subject is the Bro Code. Everyone knows the bro code and most people I know abide to it in some form or another but like most ancient transcriptions of important historical documents, the original meaning gets misinterpreted and lost in translation. Luckily for my wonderful blog readers I managed to get my hands on the original bro code, the ten bromandments. We all know the story of Moses and the ten commandments, but little is documented about his brother Broses. Broses was a simple man he liked to drink and he loved women, in fact he loved women a little bit too much and was on the odd occasion caught in bed with many of his friends wives. One day after a particularly eventful night in which he drank way too much Jesus juice ( only then it wasn't called Jesus juice because Jesus wasn't even born yet) was kicked out of a brothel and told by townsfolk that he needed to leave the town for thirty days so that he could sober up and reflect on his behaviour. While on his journey of self discovery he began to realize the error of his ways, and as he did this he was struck by lightening. While in a state of unconsciousness he spoke to God himself. God told him that the only way he could improve the lives of his friends and family was if he followed the ten Bromandments, a set of rules created by God himself to ensure that bros everywhere can live in peace. God told Broses that he was the chosen one, that he would be the man to lead bros into a new era of peace and understanding. When Broses awoke, he believed that he had just dreamt his conversation with God and put it down to the fact that he was sober for the first time in his life. That was until he saw them, two stone (material not weight) tablets, each engraved with 5 rules about the way bros should conduct themselves. Broses quickly returned back to his home town, he knew he had to spread the word to bros everywhere. When he returned, he gathered the towns bros and told them the very same bromandments that I am about to reveal to you now.
1) Never ditch a bro for a woman (unless that woman is your significant other).
2) Treat your bros as your own, I don't mean literally touch it or or anything but if your bro is going through a dry spell, it is your duty as his bro to make sure that he gets some.
3) Never get with a relative of a bro. This mainly refers to sisters and mothers. Hot aunts and step mums are ok.
4) If a bro is having a tough time in life and if you have the funds, it is your honor as his bro to take him out to get wasted.
5)A bro is honor bound to lie to a woman to help his bro get laid.
6)A bro doesn't have to defend his choice of sexual partner, if it has been more than six months since he's had any.
7) If two bros, have their eyes on the same girl, said girl goes to the bro who calls dibs first. If that girl rejects bro a, bro b is allowed to make a move.
8) NEVER, EVER make eye contact during a devils three way.
9)A bro should always provide a bro with protection if he is about to get some but forgot to buy any.
10) A bro will always have his bros back unless said bro has broken one of the above commandments.
So there we have it the ten bromandments, I hope this settles any issues, fellow bros may have in the future.
