Wicksie explains the riots....

The recent events in London and other major cities in the U.K. Have saddened me, there is just no excuse for such senseless violence and destruction. Therefore from now on I will be referring to recent events as Bitch fit 2011. But what is the cause of all this, many people have stated that it's a generations anger against the government and the establishment in whole, but we are all suffering yet there are still honest people out there that have not resorted to looting and rioting. Some off the interviews with this disenfranchised youth sadden me beyond belief, their lack of understanding and complete disregard for others is beyond all belief. I know maybe it's not the right time for humor but here is a list of possible reasons why these riots started.

1) 'Watch the throne' being an iTunes exclusive:

Jay-Z and Kanye West's long awaited album was released on iTunes and iTunes only. Could the fact that this highly anticipated album is not yet available on CD?

2) Football transfers:

Is it any coincidence that a lot of these riots were near football teams? Maybe it's frustration at clubs selling their best players. I.e. Modric to Chelsea and Fabregas to Barcelona or even Tevez to where ever he pleases. Could people ever be that passionate about over-paid and over-pampered professional footballers? Who knows?

3) Cher Lloyd

Let's face it, shit really hit the fan on Sunday night, 'Swagger Jagger' reaches number one in the charts that day. I'm not pointing fingers but if I did they may well be pointed towards that dwarfish, troll-like talentless chav. How can a song that shit ( btw not heard it just basing this on public opinion) be at no.1?

4) Eastenders

Was it not only a week a so ago that Lola Mitchell set fire to a bunch of furniture in the middle of the square, if she has influenced this, this will be the most influential thing Eastenders has done since Steve McFadden got our nation into dogging.

5) Still no sign of 'Detox'

I know another hip-hop reference makes me sound racist but.... Even I'm a little pissed about this one too. Dr Dre's yet to be released album is becoming the 'Chinese democracy' of the urban community. However I didn't see anyone riot because it took so long to come out (although there should have been a riot when it did come out).

6) Voldermort

Yes I know (spoiler alert) that Voldermort is dead but maybe these kids on the street aren't disaffected youths but are death eaters. These death eaters are clearly pissed (spoiler alert again) that Harry Potter killed their leader.

7) 'Anuvahood'

Seriously that film was shit, plus it makes out that a lot of these young urban kids living on estate are thick and violent (oh yeah, in all honesty you could probably recut that film and it would be an example of what that culture is like).

8) The Olympics

A lot of people didn't want the Olympics in the first place, maybe the youth of the nation were sick of seeing Seb Coe and BoJo (Boris Johnson) talking about 2012, urban regeneration and stadiums. I know I am.

9) Still no sign of iPhone 5

If these kids are anything like me, they are probably disappointed that iPhone 5 has yet to be announced, why are you dragging your feet apple the kids on the street have spoken they want iPhone 5 and they want it now.

10) New Mac mini released without DVD drive

Apple only recently released it's latest incantation of the Mac mini, this time without a super drive ( DVD drive) wtf apple the Mac mini was the best computer for setting up a home media centre and although the disc drive isn't the be all and end all it was still a decent enough feature to keep. This has clearly angered the people on the streets.

So here is my list of alternative explanations for the riot, I hope you enjoyed it next week I will be discussing alternative uses for Cher Lloyd and investigating just what is a "Swagger Jagger".