"When I was a kid, I used to have an imaginary friend. I thought he went everywhere with me. I could talk to him and he could hear me, and he could grant me wishes and stuff too. But then I grew up, and stopped going to church."
Jimmy Carr
So heres the blunt of it, I'm not exactly religious, in fact I would go as far as saying that I hate organized religion but I'm no atheist either. What?! How can I not be affiliated with a particular church, sect or cult and still not call myself an atheist? Well here's how there's too much we have yet to learn about this crazy planet we call home, there's too much beauty in this world to just put it down to natural selection and other theories. However I'm digressing from my point, which is that organized religion is quintessentially the reason for the lack of social evolution we currently experience. If I found an old piece of paper and on that paper was a set of rules from an apparently omnipotent being, that governed the way we should live our lives, you would consider me crazy for living by them, but here we are thousands of years after Moses apparently received the ten commandments from God still living by these archaic philosophies. I'm not saying murder isn't wrong, it is and I won't be doing that again for a while (police are closing in on me as we speak) but how can we live by a set of rules that doesn't take into account social change. So just for fun here is the ten commandments followed by mitigating circumstances in which I believe it's ok to break them.
1 “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me.
( ok firstly never been to Egypt dude, secondly some people like to visit the house of bondage when their wife is out of town, and if your so powerful why do u give a fuck if I believe in another god.)
2. “You shall not make for yourself a carved image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth; you shall not bow down to them nor serve them. For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquity of the fathers on the children to the third and fourth generations of those who hate Me, but showing mercy to thousands, to those who love Me and keep My Commandments.
( ok dude your starting to sound a little bit like my misses when I go to the pub, if I were god I wouldn't give a shit about what humans do. I'd do something awesome like a get a leprechaun and unicorn to fight. Anyway our society has created it's own Gods out of rockstars, royalty and reality t.v. Stars so I think this one can be scrapped.)
3 “You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.
( God dammit, can't you just let me have this one everyone does it)
4. “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath of the Lord your God. In it you shall do no work: you, nor your son, nor your daughter, nor your male servant, nor your female servant, nor your cattle, nor your stranger who is within your gates. For in six days the Lord made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, and rested the seventh day. Therefore the Lord blessed the Sabbath day and hallowed it.
(that's all well and good but if I need overtime I'm gonna work Sunday, how about you come up with a commandment that increase the minimum wage and we'll talk. Also I don't have any servants or cattle.)
5 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.
( I kinda agree with this but I love my parents, but what if you were born into a family crack addicts and you have health problems because your junkie mum was using during pregnancy?)
6 “You shall not murder.
( self defence? Or what if they deserved it? I.e. Simon Cowell)
7 “You shall not commit adultery.
( what if she's really hot? I'm joking this is a solid one, but maybe add you shall not commit kidultery)
8 “You shall not steal.
( I agree you shouldn't steal from other people but big faceless corporation where's the harm?)
9 “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
( I'm not even sure this means anything.)
10 “You shall not covet your neighbor's house; you shall not covet your neighbor's wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbor's.”
( if my neighbor had a female servant I would be a little jealous in all fairness, but I only covet technology, you shall not covet your neighbors 64gb iPad 2 would be more like it for me)
So there's my get outs and other comments about the ten commandments, but there's plenty of other rules and guides to how you should live your life in there. The problem is that these are mainly interpretations and can obviously be interpreted anyway, could it be that some unscrupulous people might interpret certain religious extracts to force their agenda on the witless masses. Of course not, that would be ludicrous (rolls eyes).
I understand how important religion is to some, for some people it's a source of strength. Personally I think its a method of controlling societies. Everyone has an opinion on this, and I hope this strikes up some sort of debate.
Hopefully soon I will have this months awesome list ready for y'all to read.
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